Dating sucks!!

A little background here: I had been in two relationships .... 1st one was really really bad that I don't care to revisit it here... 1984 to 1993, then 2nd one was 1993 to 2001. Dating here and there, until 2004 when I met this wonderful guy and we dated for 3 months. Did not date for 2 years until I met this guy Eddie, and then he dumped me via email and told me very hurtful things, which had made me go on dating hiatus for over 3 years. I wouldn't have made a very good companion during those 3 years because I was under extreme stress at work, and gaining weight, being very unhappy. The only things that made me happy was the trips to Hawaii and Florida! :) (Hi, A & M!) Then came this awful job situation. I quit my job to take a much lower paying job but I am much happier. Then I lost my condo to foreclosure because it wouldn't sell. I should have fired my realtor. The lender wouldn't work with me to modify my loan!! So screw them and quit making payments. January 2009 I had my lapband surgery done. I've lost 70 lbs but have been on a $%^&*(! plateau for months now. I just joined gym at GH main building near my home and it's free!!

As of October 2009, I thought I was ready to venture out in the dating world again. I met a guy off eharmony.com. He is a nice guy, but there were no connection at all so we never talked again, which is ok. It was good for me to get back in and regain confidence.

Then I met another guy named R in Feb. I liked him, (note the past tense!). So we went for happy hour at Gameworks downtown Seattle and talked for a couple hours.

Then we were to meet again a few days later, but he stood me up. He did not sign on on AIM at all that day. It was on a Weds. He came on line the next day, the day after, etc and I tried IMing him but he wouldn't respond. So finally he responded on Monday! He asked me if I got his email. Nope, I never got it. I knew he was lying because he's an AOL user and if he had to send an email, when signing onto AOL, you sign onto IM as well. I used to have AOL myself so I ain't dumb!! Whatever. So gave him another chance... ugh ..... and there were several red flags..... he asked me to be his girlfriend, etc.. yikes... then when we finally met two weeks ago he said he missed me, how can he say that if we hadn't met up in a month, ya know? We hung out for an hour, which is too short, IMO. We talked the next day. Then the day after, he just won't respond to me anymore so I just left him alone. I don't know what happened or what I did which I can't figure out....... but his bigass loss!!!!! On that day we met up for 2nd time, he said he was falling in love with me. Yikes. I was really very reserved. I wonder if it's a bad thing being reserved based on my experiences and would rather go slow. That was the same guy that winked me on personals in 2006, but the timing was just really bad for me and he winked at me again on same personals in January 2010 so I contacted him because I still had his name on my buddy list. I had been very inactive after 2006 when Eddie dumped me via email.

Now what R did to me has really confused, and now lowered my self-confidence when it comes to dating. Which is why I am very reserved.

I don't know, but if he wasn't interested anymore, he could at least tell me instead of being rude like he is. Asshat!!

But from what I have observed in my experiences, and read on enotalone.com forum, people who tend to fall in love quickly also tends to fall right out of love and also dating is very short lived, like this guy and Eddie. When I dated Dustin, he never said those things, and we dated a long 3 months. He did say that I am an awesome person and he wanted me to know that. Awww!! I miss him ... On April 7th, it will have been 6 years ago since we parted friends due to his job promotion and relocated to Oregon. It was the best breakup ever. When I fixed to leave his place after informing me, he didn't want me to go, saying let's have our last date together, went to Red Robin for dinner, (I was crying so much! LOL) .... then back to his place to watch a movie Finding Nemo. That movie was sad where the father was crying and trying to find Nemo which made me cry! LOL Then we just cuddled and slept together, no sex that night which was really really good. It would've made things harder. Anyhow.... he is now married and I'm happy for him.

For pete's sake, I am 43, never married, tired of being alone, and my chances of having kids are declining everyday! :(

My list of what I want in a guy:

1. Mature
2. Hard working (if unemployed right now and looking, which is not a dealbreaker)
3. Funny
4. Understanding
5. Likes to be outdoors, hiking, etc.
6. Loves to attend sporting events and stay the entire game and not go home in the beginning of 4th quarter like my ex did.
7. Likes going places, and not kicking and screaming (figure of speech)
8. Eats healthy
9. Non smoker
10. Loves to travel
11. Be responsible with financial matters
12. At least 6' tall. (not mandatory, though LOL)
13. Not a drinker, socially is fine. No drinking to escape realty is permitted.
14. Good communication, not be afraid to say what's on his mind.
15. If something bothers him, he should be able to tell me
16. Good sense of humor
17. Laid back and down to earth
18. Respects me 100%
19. Must love my cat
20. Physically fit. Likes going to gym, hike, snowshoe.
21. Open to teaching me new things or learning new things together i.e., snow shoeing, etc.

That's it for now.

I'm just so sad that R quit talking to me for no apparent reason, I don't know because I liked him. But oh well as I said above, his bigass loss.

I took him off my AIM buddy list.

I think it's definitely over. :(

That's all for now.

I just dusted off the book "In the meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant. This was recommended by a good friend of mine in IN. I have yet to meet her in person.